five ways Francis bonded with Canada
by highboys
Summary: Teenager!Francis does not make Matthew's life easier. Typical.


**Title:** five ways Francis bonded with Canada  
**Fandom:** Axis Powers Hetalia  
**Characters:** France/Canada  
For **maplesandroses** ' 2010 gift-a-thon prompt #68.

1. doing each other's nails

In retrospect, it could have been worse.

Francis could have turned into a thirty foot version of himself bent on dominating the world with his weird size fetishes. He could have turned into a tentacle monster that had the propensity to hump every living thing within five feet without so much as a 'hi, hello, may I touch your nether regions'. It could have happened.

"Matthew," Francis - de-aged by what looked like five hundred centuries, at least - cooed, holding up his buffed nails, "you missed a spot."

"Even when you've been reduced to a teenager, it's still Matthew I have to worry about," Arthur said, drily, ignoring Francis' squawk of outrage when he bopped his head with a wand. Arthur, at least, had the grace to spare Matthew a pitying look in spite of his obvious inebriation. "You don't have to listen to that prick, Matthew."

"But Matthew," Francis whimpered, widening his eyes for dramatic effect, "you don't want to live with the guilt that I, your beloved father, was left to my devices and subjected to rape and torture of the unspeakable kind by pedophilic old men like him, do you?"

Arthur spluttered in the background, and Matthew sank to the floor, armed with a nail buffer.

* * *

2. going on a field trip

"Excuse me?" Matthew said, choking on his waffles. "You want to _what_?"

"I'm going to a strip club," Francis said, pulling on what looked to be thigh-high socks, "with Gilbert and Antonio. It's supposed to prove to be a very educational experience."

BUT YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TO STRIP CLUBS BEFORE, Matthew's soul screamed and shriveled inside. "I think the point is that you're supposed to be legal, papa," Matthew said, enunciating his words as if the action would stall the blush rising in his cheeks. It didn't.

"And, of course, since I'm too young to be without supervision, you're coming with me," Francis said, batting his eyelashes for good measure. It was a good thing he didn't have a beard yet - it would have been horrifying to look at otherwise, but as it was, Matthew just felt his stomach drop with his heterosexuality.

"Why?" Matthew said despairingly, eyes aimed at the ceiling. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"It feels like he hasn't changed a bit?" Antonio offered from his spot on the living room couch, looking up from _destroying_ Gilbert in Tekken.

"This is so disgusting," Gilbert said, and promptly resolved to forget about it as soon as possible.

* * *

3. overstaying the welcome

"PAPA," Matthew said, banging on the door. It took a few minutes of wailing before Francis finally opened up and _holy shit was he wearing make-up_?

"Aren't I beautiful, Matthew?" Francis said, preening. Matthew had to blink to stop seeing the sparkles that seemed to emanate from Francis with every swish of his hair.

"Very," Matthew finally said, if only to pacify Francis' sudden burst of vanity. Conceit was a word that fit Francis well. "Now will you please get out of the bathroom so I can use it?"

Francis laughed; there was no trace of his rich baritone in it - perhaps his voice hadn't broken yet. "I had no idea you were such a grouch in the morning."

"Papa, _please_." It felt weird to call him that. Not to mention really creepy and _wrong_ on so many levels.

Francis leaned closer, pecking him on the cheek, and Matthew sagged against him, defeated.

"Why do you have to be so cute," Matthew muttered, and Francis shrugged. It was a shame to look this good, after all.

* * *

4. taking a walk

Matthew liked it best when they were walking outside. He held Francis' hand the entire time, and it felt a little like normalcy, for once, as he chatted with Gilbert and Antonio in the park. Well, mostly listened, since he couldn't bring himself to cut in with something particularly insightful. He expected Francis to join in the conversation, but Francis stayed resolutely silent, looking like a put-upon teenager (which he wasn't) with attention issues (which he was). When he figured Gilbert and Antonio were too busy cooing over the duck that had taken to following Gilbert, Matthew bent lower, patting Francis' cheeks with his palms.

"What's wrong?" Matthew asked, and Francis stared at him wordlessly before taking a quick glance at his surroundings and leaning upwards to kiss his nose.

"I liked it better when I didn't have to tiptoe to steal a kiss," Francis whispered. Matthew covered his face with his hands, face still flaming.

"You're so embarrassing," Matthew said, voice muffled through the gaps of his fingers.

"DISGUSTING," Gilbert chimed in, and Francis pushed him off the low bridge with (what Gilbert called) his 'girly' arms.

* * *

5. hanging out with Elizaveta

"If he doesn't change back, does this still count as cradle snatching?"

"Oh my _god_, why are we talking about-"

"Does this mean you're finally going to be on top? I think I have mixed feelings about that."

"We are not having this conversation, papa."

"MAKE HIM A MAN, MATTHEW."

"... Please don't encourage him. Please?"

Suddenly, hiding out at Arthur's place didn't seem like a bad idea.


End file.
